An existential-crisis-provoking question, but one that I am becoming increasingly accustomed to confronting, as it is often the question that follows immediately after providing a new face with my name and the land from which I hail. Blonde hair and blue eyes that aren’t there just to vacation is not the most normal sight to see in many corners of Latin America, particularly Costa Rica, so I can’t blame people for their curiosity. When I tell family and friends from back home about the snake found slithering around the colegio (high school) where I work, I can’t blame them for their curiosity when they ask me what I’m doing here, either.

So, why are you so far away from your family and friends?

Why would you sign up for a job you don’t get paid for?

Don’t you get lonely?

What are you trying to prove?

Is it worth it?

Sometimes after a long day I can’t help but make the mistake of asking myself the same questions. Well, there’s a number of reasons. For those curious enough to read, here are five of the principal ones, in as organized a fashion as I can muster:

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. I am here because I want to travel, but as more than a tourist. I want to live and work alongside people in my community. I wanna make homemade pizza with my panadero (baker) host brother Helder instead of relying on Yelp! to point me in the direction of the best local cuisine. I wanna skip the zipline tour to go play beach volleyball with my school director. Why use duolingo when you can learn Spanish by listening to your host mom’s childhood anecdotes over cafecito?

Integrating into a community in a country saturated by tourism is a constant process, especially living in a community with 15,000+ people. Despite this, as I get to know more and more people in my barrio (neighborhood), I find the number of people greeting me as Lau (my “tica” diminutive) increasing and the number calling out gringa to capture my attention slowly dwindling.

2. I am here because I’m a language nerd. Language learning is challenging, but it’s also pretty rad. I love being able to teach language and act as a cultural ambassador to share my experience with others to put a human face to the United States and English (or, “El Diablo”, according to some of my students). In addition to teaching, I also love being able to learn Spanish in the context of the language. Living in a country that doesn’t speak my native language is scary not as scary as it used to be; when you need to use the language every day to live and operate, you find yourself slightly more motivated to learn it than when you were in sitting in your 10th grade Spanish class listening to “Camisa Negra” for the 100th time. Language learning is a constant process; it’s like lifting weights for your brain. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. Even after having studied Spanish in school and having lived here for 6 months now, I still have a long way to go. It’s no easy task, but it is rewarding, and it has unequivocally altered the way I understand and interact with the world around me. It’s pretty chiva (cool).

3. I am here because I believe that the work we’re doing is important, and it cannot wait. No, I do not believe the work that I am doing is going to change the world, nor do I believe that I am providing a service for people that they could not have lived without or figured out on their own; we’re not here to save anyone. However, the relationships that we form on a day-to-day basis do have an impact. I’ve already seen it, and I have to believe it’s a positive one. In a world where exclusivist policies and xenophobia are trending topics, opportunities for cultural exchange on a personal level offer a practical approach to shattering stereotypes and kicking prejudice right in the bum. They  paint a portrait infinitely more vivid of the average U.S. citizen than that allowed by headlines showcasing the most recent tweet to come out of the Oval Office’s bathroom.

On the flip-side, this experience allows volunteers the opportunity to access a culture on a level much more profound than could ever be possible through the pages of a book or videos shared by your aunt on Facebook, and which we can share with others for the rest of our lives. Through the seeds of patience, exchange, and willingness to learn, one reaps understanding. We’re promoting peace and friendship, which, I know; sounds a bit lofty. But at the end of the day, don’t you think the world would be a better place if more people sought to accomplish this?

4. I am here because I want to grow.

To quote my super rad TEFL project manager:

“We grow in spaces of discomfort”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Peace Corps experience is full of spaces of discomfort and challenges. Peace Corps is challenging after walking two miles uphill in the rain to a cafe only to find that the WiFi is down. Again. It is challenging when it takes a week for your clothes to dry because the rainy season doesn’t care if you’ve run out of pants or not. It is challenging when you can’t move more than 20 feet away from the bathroom because no one’s body is designed to successfully intake that many beans every.single.day. Despite all of that, I love what I do. I loved Peace Corps when my host mom prepared me a bucket of hot water with bicarbonate and alcohol to bathe with when I was feeling sick. I loved Peace Corps when the women’s volleyball team invited me to play with them full-time the following season. I loved Peace Corps when my host sister gifted me a new lunch box for Christmas because she remembered that the first day I arrived in site I lost mine on the bus. For as challenging as this experience has been so far (and will be in the months to come), it is important to recognize that with these trying moments comes a level of growth that can only be achieved by stepping (or jumping) outside your comfort zone.  

5. I am here because I want to be, obviously. If not now, when? Life is too short to live it how others expect you to. It’s challenging living in a world where the only consistent thing in my life is the fact that there will be rice and beans for breakfast, sure. But with great challenge comes great growth. I’m here learning how to enjoy living in the moment and how to do the next right thing, and right now, that’s more than enough for me.

So, why are you here?